Thinking a lot about life right now and what I want it to be. Maybe it's the promise of summer and knowing that the days just wait to be filled with life. Maybe it's the idea of selling our house to by something that is a project because that might just be more fulfilling. Maybe it's the wonder of dreaming of camping and sailing and freedom. But I know that I don't want to be boring. That's the scariest being of all. And I know this because last week during Spirit Week when I was dressed from head to toe in bright pink somebody said to me..."nobody ever accused you of being boring...you are one electric lady" and my heart seriously smiled. Because I have hit a point in life where I don't do it for attention, I don't do it out of fear, I do it because that is how I am most me.
So maybe this post is for listing the 13 things that I want to do (or keep doing) that aren't boring...
1. Rock Climb
2. Paint
3. Road Trip
4. Sail and Snorkal
5. Teach
6. Be a mom
7. Adventure with Jeremy...be crazy because it's what we do best. Don't even care what this looks like...I just know when we AREN'T doing it.
8. Have less stuff
9. Find a house with potential
10. Surprise others.
11. Soak in Hot Springs.
12. Start a Jimmy John's.
13. Play games, jump on the trampoline, be silly, and roll down hills. That.
Maybe instead of calling it "not boring" maybe I should call it the "stay alive" list.
Being alive. I like it.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Saturday, May 3, 2014
#12 Roots
So I had this great conversation yesterday with a co-worker after work as I learned more about her life and at the end of it I said...
"I knew you had roots that ran deep. I knew it before you even shared today. I see it in how you live."
And then I went on to share that I heard that it was proven that trees in an artificial environment won't develop roots because there is no wind and they will then topple over. Now I have yet to know if that is Scientifically true. I looked today and being the non-scientist that I am I found nothing except for that trees with rotten roots will die in a storm. Which probably is another whole blog post that we could make an analogy for...
But. The point is that it is definitely true in people's lives. You know those people before words even come out of their mouth telling you their story. You know that life has thrown some tough stuff and then some at them. You know that they have let those stories create deep roots in their life. Roots that run deep. Roots that don't rot. Roots that mean they grew and will continue to grow.
And so I ask the scary question...do I try to hide from the wind and create a safe environment for myself or do I embrace the wind? Do I have roots myself? Where did my roots come from?
And when the wind comes do I let it make me become the tree that then can be a shelter for others?
And here is the best analogy of all...most wind isn't a huge storm. That would knock us down when we are little saplings. That wind is the one we don't even notice, but it makes all the difference in the world. It's the ways you respond when you are irritated, tired, and hungry. It's how you respond when life isn't fair. When you have to grocery shop. When you get samples at Costco. When you go to DC with a bunch of crazy 8th graders and love it and are wiped at the same time. And how you respond when exhausted that next Monday morning at school with, "it was awesome" instead of focusing on the tough parts. It's how you handle when once again your co-worker doesn't do their part and you are left to figure out what to do anyway.
It's the day to day tough stuff. That gentle breeze that makes our roots grow a little deeper. A bet it happens bit by bit :) Nobody is a tree with roots overnight. Dang. But those roots that run deep. Those are worth living for.
"I knew you had roots that ran deep. I knew it before you even shared today. I see it in how you live."
And then I went on to share that I heard that it was proven that trees in an artificial environment won't develop roots because there is no wind and they will then topple over. Now I have yet to know if that is Scientifically true. I looked today and being the non-scientist that I am I found nothing except for that trees with rotten roots will die in a storm. Which probably is another whole blog post that we could make an analogy for...
But. The point is that it is definitely true in people's lives. You know those people before words even come out of their mouth telling you their story. You know that life has thrown some tough stuff and then some at them. You know that they have let those stories create deep roots in their life. Roots that run deep. Roots that don't rot. Roots that mean they grew and will continue to grow.
And so I ask the scary question...do I try to hide from the wind and create a safe environment for myself or do I embrace the wind? Do I have roots myself? Where did my roots come from?
And when the wind comes do I let it make me become the tree that then can be a shelter for others?
And here is the best analogy of all...most wind isn't a huge storm. That would knock us down when we are little saplings. That wind is the one we don't even notice, but it makes all the difference in the world. It's the ways you respond when you are irritated, tired, and hungry. It's how you respond when life isn't fair. When you have to grocery shop. When you get samples at Costco. When you go to DC with a bunch of crazy 8th graders and love it and are wiped at the same time. And how you respond when exhausted that next Monday morning at school with, "it was awesome" instead of focusing on the tough parts. It's how you handle when once again your co-worker doesn't do their part and you are left to figure out what to do anyway.
It's the day to day tough stuff. That gentle breeze that makes our roots grow a little deeper. A bet it happens bit by bit :) Nobody is a tree with roots overnight. Dang. But those roots that run deep. Those are worth living for.
#11-Getting Old is a Privilege
(Started this post weeks ago...thought I should post it even if it wasn't "complete"...pretty sure this will be an ongoing thought and process in my life :))
This isn't a new concept. We all think about getting older, but lately I have been having more out loud conversations about it. And I truly like having them. I truly like thinking about if I am ok with this getting closer to 40 thing and what it means to me.
All along 43 has been in the back of my mind. 43. So young. Yet, somehow we only realize that when a life comes to an end early. Why don't we realize that when we are 43? Because it is so easy to see in others. It is so easy to not appreciate it till it is gone. That is what happened on May 13, 1995. That was when my mom only lived 43 years. And I never once thought that was old. I didn't fully grasp it but even when I was 17 I knew that 43 was young.
But when it is your age everything changes. Somehow it doesn't matter how old the people around you are. Somehow age doesn't matter as much as the depth of living it. And I'm not just saying that because it sounds good on a a blogpost. I'm saying that because I really have learned a lot about embracing that getting.old.is.a.privilege.
A privilege is something that you...
(...and that is where I finished that thought weeks again and have returned again today only to still need time to think about what is a privilege? Are they earned? Are you sometimes born into them (like money)? Is it because of the choices you make? Others make? Is there grace in privileges? And so my thoughts on this continue...)
So...I will embrace the privilege that I will be back another day (when I am older ;)) to add to this.
This isn't a new concept. We all think about getting older, but lately I have been having more out loud conversations about it. And I truly like having them. I truly like thinking about if I am ok with this getting closer to 40 thing and what it means to me.
All along 43 has been in the back of my mind. 43. So young. Yet, somehow we only realize that when a life comes to an end early. Why don't we realize that when we are 43? Because it is so easy to see in others. It is so easy to not appreciate it till it is gone. That is what happened on May 13, 1995. That was when my mom only lived 43 years. And I never once thought that was old. I didn't fully grasp it but even when I was 17 I knew that 43 was young.
But when it is your age everything changes. Somehow it doesn't matter how old the people around you are. Somehow age doesn't matter as much as the depth of living it. And I'm not just saying that because it sounds good on a a blogpost. I'm saying that because I really have learned a lot about embracing that getting.old.is.a.privilege.
A privilege is something that you...
(...and that is where I finished that thought weeks again and have returned again today only to still need time to think about what is a privilege? Are they earned? Are you sometimes born into them (like money)? Is it because of the choices you make? Others make? Is there grace in privileges? And so my thoughts on this continue...)
So...I will embrace the privilege that I will be back another day (when I am older ;)) to add to this.
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