'9" T Truth is...

9:39 pm. In NY it will be New Year' in 21 minutes.

And what do I say about 2018? 

It's been awesome, and hard, and healing, and opening of wounds, and filled with hope, and filled with sadness. It's been a time to connect and a time to grow. It's been hard to push through on school and work and working out and learning what to let go.

I bought Eggos. 

I ran to Del Taco every Tuesday night.

Aidan walks home from school sometimes.

Micah gets to practice because Peyton's parents help us out.

The dishes pile up.

I waited to give awards to my students until next week.

Truth is, I think I let it go but I still have a lot of work to do. 

Truth is Jeremy hit it on the head today at Hacienda when he said as I get more busy and overwhelmed I pull away. 

Damn.

Truth is truth. And doesn't change just because I don't like to hear it. 

That's the truth that I am learning. 

Savor, Spirit, Open, Choose, Remember, Story, Become, Selah, Entrust, Pleres, Truth, and next up...


Joy.

I'm ready

'8' T Still Afraid-Just not of the dark...

Why does the Bible tell us so many times not to fear?

Because man we need the reminder more than we know.

We need to stop hiding and pretending we aren't afraid.

Because we are.

We are afraid that our work won't get done, or our needs won't get met, or our kids will struggle. Or we won't get rest or we won't get acknowledged. Or, or, or...

It doesn't go away just because we grow up. It just looks different. Instead of being afraid of crocodiles or the dark we are afraid we won't measure up or life won't be fair.

We are still afraid, and so we need to find light and truth in those fears.

We need to be reminded that we are loved. For who we are. Even when we screw up. Especially when we do. We need to be reminded that we are valued and cared for and we actually won't ever measure up, but that's not the goal anyway. The goal is so much more the goal is to find health in the midst of all of those fears.

To turn off the light even though we are afraid of the dark.
To feed the crocodile (at the petting zoo, not the wild!) even though we are afraid it will snap us in tow.
To jump off the high dive even though the water below looks far away.
And then when we grow up we just have to acknowledge those fears in a different way.
To admit we have limits even though we want to have it all together.
To let go of our expectations on the day even though we want control.

Because that fear does nothing but get in the way of who God wants us to be.
So I am letting go of those fears and instead I am turning off the light. I am believing truth. I am believing the same truth that the Israelites knew...

 “He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8