Birthday party for teenager check.
Never been able to say that before. And to be honest it was too easy. It showed me visibly how it won't me long until they wave goodbye and are more independent than ever.
For Faith's birthday this year we played Bingo, ate cake pops, and did everything together.
For Aidan's birthday this year his friends were the center of it all and I watched. With this crazy weird heart combined with joy and sadness. I didn't go to Jumpstreet with him. I didn't play xbox with him. I saw him celebrate without me and I knew it was exactly as it should be. But honestly I wasn't as ready for it as I thought I was. And I saw it's probably going to be a long time until I am part of his party again.
And I am totally ok with that and totally not all at the same time. That's what being a mom is all about. This letting go and holding on all at the same time. I remember when we used to make Mickey Mouse birthday cakes and go to open gym and play with them. I know birthday celebrations won't look like that for a long time if ever...and so I ask myself, now what? If that's true then how do I celebrate life with them? How do I embrace? How do I get to be part of their lives instead of an observer?
I go on field trips.
I cuddle.
I take ever boy moment I have.
Because it's not long until birthdays will be boys out of the house and in college and I will long for days where they will be in my living room watching Space Balls with their friends.
