#4 "P" Input

Input. Super challenged by this word lately. And if I'm honest I have been for a while. I know I'm "eating" junk and I know it takes more time to invest in "home cooked" meals...but really it's not about what is easy. It never is. It's about how you feel after you eat junk vs. after you eat a home cooked meal. That's what makes you decide it's worth it to do what is hard but worth it.

So...I'm listening to more podcasts. I'm clicking on social media a little less. I'm just sitting still when I have a moment to spare. Yep really I am. I'm reading a book after school when I get home and turning on the fireplace and drinking tea. I'm taking a nap. I'm watching movies. I'm reading blogs. I'm spending the first minutes of my drive everyday in prayer. I'm not thinking "must be nice" when I see other people's lives but instead being inspired that I can choose to make those things happen in my life too. I'm going to the gym and taking time to develop my "little muscles".

The thing about input is this. It's a choice.

We think we have no time but we have more than ever. We think we have to consume but we don't. We can be in a place where we choose what we input into our lives. We can stop buying, eating, listening, reading crap. We can go back to whole food input in all of our lives. It just means we might have to be a little more patient, a little less reactive, and a lot more honest. But who doesn't want that?

So...here's to choosing to input life into our lives rather than junk. And the first thing I need to input is more sunshine. Literally. Time to start walking more. Outside. Because nobody is going to do if for me.

And on that note it's time to input connection to others as well. Because saying "I never see you anymore or I haven't seen you in forever"  isn't the interaction I want to have with people.

Bottom line. Listen. Sunshine. Connect. Go.

#4 "P" Face your Yuck

Listening to this right now...and letting myself be filled because if I'm honest I'm stinking empty right now. It's  been a week of admitting some deep yuck about my life. It's been a week of realizing that I am selfish. It's been a week of realizing that I no matter how many books I read or podcasts I have listened to lately I still struggle with proving that I can do it all on my own. But even worse I choose to do it my own because then I'm not accountable to anyone. That's such yuck and selfishness that I thought was gone. But silly me I am finding that it's not something that I just have "gone" but something that I surrender day after day. After day. After. Day. 

And then I wake up and see sunrises and go for walks hand in hand with my love and eat tacos and watch Friends and see that life has hope and healing. Always, even when you face your yuck. Especially when you face your yuck. And that is something to celebrate. 

And today I trusted that I don't have to fill myself...instead the filling comes when I trust. Not in my myself...quite the opposite. 

"In God We Trust"

Overwhelmed but I won’t break
Through the battle I will say
Your grace will be enough
Your grace will be enough

Under fire but we won’t fall
We will never be alone
You’ll always be enough
You’ll always be enough

Now in God we trust
In His Name we hope
I know God will not be shaken
God is here with us
He’s already won
I know God will not be shaken

We will follow where You go
We will trust through the unknown
I know You go before
I know You go before

Lead my heart now in Your ways
For we’re carrying Your Name
Your promise never fails
Your promise never fails

You finish what You begun
Forever strong in Your love
Your Name is sure
And You will fight for us
Our hope forever secure
In You alone

#3 P...Permission

Today...

I went to Starbucks and read my Bible.

I watched a movie in the middle of the day. By myself.

I took a nap.

Giving myself permission in baby steps. These were huge.

Go me. Full life...not busy and stuffed.

#2 "P" Ferris Buller Inspiration (again)

Have done this in the past...haven't done it in a while. Helps me embrace the Ferris Bueller of "life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while you might miss it"...in other words Pleres (Just like Selah was...funny how they can be all the same and different at the same time.)

AIDAN

Creating |  Something new every time I go in your room. Seriously...it's either a Lego Mach, a team on NBA2K, something on your computer, new Instagram accounts (yeah this one drives me crazy...) It's always  something though and that is what is awesome about you. Always, always, up to something.

Reading | Because you have to...but I think secretly loving it. You read books like brain candy and are now interested in WW2 after being in a reading group at school. You are super informed and seek knowledge.

Learning | How to be you. Both on and off the court. How to embrace confidence in basketball, school, and friends. How to be silly and yet mature all at the same time. You are growing more all the time in this...we all are buddy. I'm 39 and still figuring it out. You will get there.

Playing |  Xbox and hoops in the driveway. Still. This is always your go-to. And now you have moved up to Xbox One thanks to Santa.

Practicing | Officially basketball and homework. You got on the honor role and rocked your responsibility this fall.  Unofficially you are practicing how to respond when you are frustrated, how to clean your room, and remember to put your rubber bands in for your braces. You have grown so much in communicating your emotions and how to respond when life isn't fair. I know you only see the times you don't but trust me buddy I see it all and your apologies and heart for others is so awesome.

MICAH

Playing |   With your cousins every chance you get. I can't even start to imagine how hard it is going to be to say good-bye when they go back to Estonia.

Reading |  A lot. With dad, with mom, with Ms. Mary, with Ms. Bridget. Directions, comics, homework, hard stuff, easy stuff, math, science, social-studies. All of it. You are working so hard in this area and it is showing big time.

Reminding | Us to do the fun and thoughtful in life just like you always have. You make us eggs and help clean up. You like to serve.

Watching  |  Netflix and You-tube. How you find what you do is beyond me but you are always finding something that is pranks, hacks, or Lego ideas.

 Practicing | Swimming. Sometimes with a happy heart and sometimes with a grumpy heart but overall you love it and the social that it brings you each week.

JEREMY

Planning | For another semester. Your fall was so so tough in this area. You persevered like a rock star but it took a lot. You are hoping for a Spring with a little more rest. But no matter what you do all in excellence, you always have.

Fixing| The dishwasher, the Tahoe rear-defrost, the chair pads, the sprayer. Pretty much anything that comes your way you are tearing apart and figuring out. Nothing scares you. Not even the transfer-case project on the Tahoe this summer. I admire this in you more than you know. I know it is your greatest strength and can drive you crazy at the same time.

Reading | Your Bible. You continue to faithfully read through the whole thing no matter how long it takes you.

Investing |  In us. You value time with me. You take me on walks and to Macaroni Grill. You go to breakfast whenever you can and sometimes just a run to Costco. You always spend time even when you don't have it.

RACH

Learning | To let go more. And wondering what the next steps of teaching at CCU will be. Never been more unknown and so filled with peace at the same time. Totally ok with waiting to get my Doctorate. Totally ok with staying at Powell. Totally ok with teaching at CCU whenever that might be.

Trusting |  To be quiet more and not default to picking up the phone or turning on noise. Don't like it, but I'm trusting it will have payoffs.

Investing | In time to intentionally connect. Whether it is with my boys, my niece and nephew or just with silence and a cup of coffee. I'm finding nobody is going to do it for me, I must choose.

Listening | To podcasts and so wanting to find one that is Bible based. Found a lot of health and mindful ones. But really want to be cautious about how much I listen and fuel my mind and with what.

Going | To Masters swim practice and looking at it as the long term not just the now. And being ok when I don't go too.

US

Watching |  Brain candy before bed....Big-Bang Theory, Life in Pieces, Friends, or whatever else. Just something to be together.

Drinking |Wine as we go for a walk around the neighborhood. So us. So crazy.

Discussing |  Our boys, our jobs, our summer, our boats, our dreams. Lots of ours in life. Always seeing life as partners no matter what. Go us.

#1 "P" Pleres...Full not Stuffed

I feel like I'm cheating a little bit on this year's word. I looked back at my blog and realized how much I already write about and desire what a full life is.

I feel like I wanted a year that is about just enjoying all the gifts and awesomeness that life is.

I feel like I wanted to be ok with not being in go a million miles an hour and prove that I can do everything mode.

Because even if I can I have totally learned that I don't have to. And actually if I do life isn't full...it's stuffed. And I've done that life enough to know that doesn't prove anything except what a fool I am.
 It's like the idiots that brag about not taking vacation and how many days and hours they work. Really? That's so not who I want to be in any way. I used to think I did. I used to think my FB posts were best if they were stuffed with status updates like this...

Workout check. Laundry check. Grocery shopping check. Made everything from scratch check. Did 30 million push ups check. Lost my mind check. Exhausted...check. And on and on...

And so today my day was full but not stuffed. I got up at 5:30 and swam but I didn't let that define me and have to prove how much more I can do because I did that. Instead I watched a movie with Aidan in his room with him. I sat and drank coffee and read a book. I went to breakfast with Jeremy even though I could have went home and made eggs at home because I am learning to just be sometimes. I took Micah to a friend's house so he could connect. I went to the library and wandered around. I stopped at my sister in law's house and worked on a photo book. I held Daniel. I took a nap. I took a hot shower again even though I showered this morning. And it was a day filled with good. So much good and so much more than making a giant project to do list and proving how much I could get done.

I proved so much more today. Maybe nobody else noticed it, but I did. God did. My family did. And that is what a life that is full is about.
All I can say is...this is gonna be good. Full and good.