Planting

Spring arrived today. In so many ways. 

It was warm. 

Daylight savings time is here. 

But more importantly I planted. And when I did I saw what I knew I could trust all winter long. There was life under that ground that is ready to bloom. It’s peaking out right now just enough to remind me and everyone who walks by that it hasn’t forgotten. 

And I didn’t see it all right away because there was so much debris and leaves and dead that needed to be cleared away. And the more I cleared the more I saw buds and new life ready to come. 

But you know what else I had to do? I had to get those stinking seeds in the ground before it was too late. And some of them said it takes 180-300 days. What?! I have to trust that the tiny sunflower seeds I planted and I can no longer see will come up in 6-10 months from now? And the same with my bulbs and flowers that I had to deadhead all the seeds so new life could come from them. And some of those seeds aren’t going to take. 

But you know what seeds never grow? The ones sitting in my office in a paper bag all warm and cute and visible. But they are dead. Or at least they are shrinking. They for sure aren’t giving life. And the longer they sat there the less chance they had of taking root. 

Taking root. From being buried. And shook. And put into the dark places that we can’t see right now. And so right now we trust. And we know that there is life happening under the ground that we can’t see. Just like it’s been for the last 7 months. 

The months I felt sad and angry. The months I didn’t feel seen. The months I wanted to have my boys here and not away leaving me with the empty that came in that season. The months I wanted Jeremy’s migraines to just be gone. 

Or there was sweetness for sure in those months as well. There was laughter and Thanksgiving and Christmas and league champions in swimming and students that affirmed they needed me just like I needed them. 

But there was a lot more happening under the soil than above, but you know what? If it is was all one or the other there wouldn’t be flowers poking their sweet heads just daring me to trust again. To trust that we must be planted and not just for a few days. Sometimes we can read the package and know it’s 180-300 days and even if it seems long at least we know. But sometimes we just wait and wonder what’s already under the soil that’s just a few days from blooming and when we move and weed the garbage of winter we see it. 

It’s all there. And so we plant some more. 

In the cold dark ground. Where life can happen. 

I dare to trust that Spring is here. Again.